Since the holiday rich-foods season dropped in, flatulence is more frequent. Expectation is that space in an elevator, auto, library, office, grocery isle, or any confined area will have residue odors. Sometimes there is a green/brown gaseous haze lingering across the floor.

The serious side effect of global warming becomes a hot and messy topic. To blow it off, squeeze it off, or camouflage its reverberations is not the intent. Rather, examine the serious ecological question, "anyone considered how dumb farts choices are"?

Each contender exists on a one-time puff adventure. Each sneakily escapes past its sphincter guard into outer space. Each enjoys a once in a lifetime, short-lived moment of freedom. Each vanishes into thin air, a delightful romp in the park. The one rule of human behavior is never trust a fart, especially when you have consumed:

• Bowls of spicy chili along with beer;
• A bag of black liquorice along with buttered popcorn;
• 3 pounds of bar-B-Q pork with beans and cold slaw;
• Magnums of Champaign sitting naked in a hot tub with a significant other;
• Several double cheeseburgers with onions and fries;
• Etc.

If you were a vital fart, would you have need to waltz away from your colon haven? Wouldn’t aborting into oblivion be hard to swallow? There you are, floating around in your warm, posh environment. Methane gasses intoxicate you, drinking in the elixirs of fluids, having a hands-on relationship, plus dribbling along. You leisurely cluster, Greek style, with loads of friends. Room service is ever adding more insatiable delicacies. Climate changes come through the seasons: lighter rolls to more hearty loads. You aren’t bothered as you free range about. Sometimes, there is organ music vetting hollowed ground.

What’s not to like here, and doesn’t slipping outside seem dumb? Stay inside where you can nuzzle in a luxury Emporium. Every fart muffles its way, trying to make a mark in the world, proving that farts have no brains. Then, sometimes guys say, "I just had a brain fart", and that stinks to high heaven.