While sitting is a doctor’s office waiting & waiting room, there were lots of magazines to scan. What a surprise to learn the vast majority were magazines for women. Nary a male or macho magazine, booklet, or pamphlet to be had. Those E-Z reading things were flush with many bath, body, and beauty products.

     What was there to do, other than look. The girlie pictures inside showed miracle, age reducing rejuvenating, and resilience enhancing, color changing and body building shampoos. This stuff is sold in a myriad of colors, jells, solids, liquids and sprays, which included infinite fragrances such as roses, earth tones, forest scents, ocean breezes. Mountain airs, and sweaty strong musk. Amazingly, each item guarantees a certain degree of generating a younger "You": smooth skin, wrinkle free face, sensational hair, and a tight ass. Even more intriguing is the promise that a handsome young hunk will pick her up; he has a hot red/blue/yellow sports car, a huge male organ in his tight jeans, big smiley white toothed grin, a fat wallet, a full head of hair, and no brains.

     Complementing these body and hair products is a universal selection of lipsticks. Women are able buy a perfect, infallible lipstick color. There is such a rainbow on the color chart pallet that the Crayola Crayon Company would be hard pressed to manufacture such an assortment of crayons. Lipstick shapes were a surprise, too; not only do these things come in different colors, but the things are shaped differently. Some are round, others flat, while many are stubby, skinny or very long. And there are as many brand names for them as there are kinds of beers. No wonder women need large purses, where they can’t find stuff. You see them reaching into their purse opening, feeling around for all those different shapes and sizes.

     Just in the nick of time, there was an ad for a light to place inside a purse, which means another thing to add. Next add a cell phone or I-pod in a purse. So, the women reaches in, switches on a light, looks down to find piles of different shape, sizes, colors, cell phone, and all other vitals. The world stops as civilization stands frozen awaiting perfection.

     Now comes the real kicker. It is something the advertising world does not anyone to know. Guys on see 16 (sixteen) colors! That 16 is exactly what the Crayola Company knew when packaging their colored crayons. Compound this schism with the fact that 25 % (one fourth of male population) is colorblind. This 25% of men can only see yellow, brown, blue, black, and white, gray, orange and brown; red and green are brown. Also, some guys are totally colorblind, seeing only black, white and gray. When a girl goes on a date with her guy, she gets all gussied up, wearing all of her bedazzling, perfectly matched jazz. What does her colorblind date see? He looks at her black dress, brown/black lips. Orange high heeled shoes, brown purse and hair. He has a wonderfully attired woman who is perfect as a Halloween date for the firemen’s ball.

     What is the real point about women’s’ finesse or subtle nuances? Looking though some much make up or make over, competition among women is more important than impressing men. Women dress as a contrast to other women. Actually, guys do not much care what a woman looks like, as long as we have the basics: beer, a TV remote, and a car.

      And here is another question. If only a few of these beauty product could truly change a woman’s looks, then why are there so many butt ugly women around? A person would think that some of this beautification sold by the billions of bucks would work with greater success for these women.

     These women’s magazines taut items designed to make the female form wondrously glamorous. They want girls to shave & lotion their legs, or do something called a "wax job". They mandate painting toenails, plucking eyebrows. But guys act more natural with hair growing out our nose and ears, and across our shoulders. Fortunately, girls see a guy as a "work in progress", which means she gets to create her man in her own image. But guys don’t care that much about the girlie stuff. Instead of so much goo, he would prefer her to wear a whole lot less of everything.
Sitting there, I needed to read about a man’s stuff. Where was a recent News Week, a Fortune or even a Sports Illustrated? With a man’s magazine, you get to read about chainsaws, 4X4 trucks, beers, whiskeys and scantly clad chicks. Men get to grunt and scratch, while savoring these good thins. To heck with face creams, smelly shampoos, and body lotions; we us soap, especially macho soap.

    Since these beauty ads appear virtually every where, they sell billions of bucks worth of product. But, if women are buying chemicals that really don’t change their hair or skin, buying shapes and colors to impress other female competitors, isn’t this virtual social maneuvering rather odd?

     When a girl gets herself magnifies in make up and dressed up just so he will notice her, she wonders if her primping will work. Of course, he will look at her and like what he sees, smells and touches. Underneath, she probably wants other women to watch her, too. On the other social spectrum, check out those Baltic women who refuse to shower and shave.

     After sitting in that waiting room for nearly an hour, I can better understand the reason men play golf, all day Saturday and Sunday, then leave early for work on Monday. They may load their black and silver SUV, pack their shotgun and shells, toss in a case of brew, and head into the lakes duck hunting in sub zero weather. They will stand in icy water with the north wind blowing through a duck blind. In the bone chilling cold, he turns to his hunting partner and exclaims, SHE isn’t here, is SHE!"